I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
