she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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