Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
