I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
