But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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