my vag is so smooth its legendary
it was like his penis was on wheels.
handjob tips. give me some.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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