I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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