Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
