Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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