dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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