That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize