This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
