FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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