Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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