My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
they're like a gay fantastic four
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
