Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
foreskin is a definite game changer
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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