hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
