I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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