therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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