oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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