just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
