Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
