Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
