What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
