I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
