Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
