I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
