The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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