i would punch a child for taco bell
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
A+ Viking dick
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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