I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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