dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
