Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
