Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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