Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
