did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
