Whoa Z and x make the same sound
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
