im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
