did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
