Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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