I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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