To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
