Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize