Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
