Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
