NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
