Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize