We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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