I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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