I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I could make wine with my vomit
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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