its not stalking. its research.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You were trust falling into bushes
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
