I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
