I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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