How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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