So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
