and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
