Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
