I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i think i just lost a toe
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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