Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
