I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
