He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Randomize
