Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
