dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
