I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
