...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
