Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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