I didn't shave. On purpose
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
